Family law in practice
What actually happens in the first 90 days after you file for divorce in San Mateo County
People picture a divorce as a courtroom. For the first three months it is mostly paper, and the paper determines a lot. Here is the sequence in San Mateo County, and what each step is for.
Day 1: the petition and summons
The case starts when one spouse files a petition and summons in Redwood City. The petition states the date of marriage, the date of separation, whether there are children, and what the filing spouse is asking for. It is not a declaration of war; nearly everything in it can be amended later. What matters is that it exists, because nothing else can happen until it does.
Service, and the orders nobody reads
The petition has to be personally served on the other spouse. On the back of the summons are the automatic temporary restraining orders. From the moment of service, neither spouse may transfer or hide property, change insurance beneficiaries, borrow against assets outside the ordinary course, or take the children out of California without written consent or a court order. If your spouse has been emptying the joint account, this is the only thing that stops it, and it does not apply until service is complete. That is the single best reason not to wait to file.
Thirty days: the response
The served spouse has thirty days to file a response. If they don't, the filing spouse can request a default, which is rarely as good as it sounds but is real leverage. Most people respond, usually after retaining counsel.
Sixty days: preliminary declarations of disclosure
Each spouse must serve a schedule of assets and debts and an income and expense declaration within sixty days of the petition or response. These are sworn documents and they are the foundation of every settlement and every judgment. A disclosure that omits an account or understates income can get a judgment set aside years later. Do them carefully, and read your spouse's with equal care.
Temporary orders, if you need them
If one spouse needs support, exclusive use of the house, a custody schedule or attorney's fees before the case is over, that is a request for order. In San Mateo it will be set on a morning calendar several weeks out. If the request involves custody, both parents will be sent to Family Court Services first, and because San Mateo is a recommending county, the mediator's written recommendation will usually be what the judge adopts if you don't agree.
What to do in these 90 days
Three things. Open an account in your own name and have your pay deposited there. Gather three years of tax returns, recent statements for every account, and the paperwork on the house and retirement. And write down, now, the date you consider the marriage to have ended and why. The date of separation ends the community estate, and memories fade in a way that bank records do not.
The six-month waiting period means no one is divorced in 90 days. But the case you have at month six is largely decided by what happened in months one through three.
This article is general information about California family law, not legal advice about your situation. Every case turns on its facts.